Father Knows Best

I know I haven't blogged in a while, but the last year has been so full I haven't really had the time or even felt like writing some things down.  I can't say the whole year has been super stressful, but we have had some things going on in our family that have been challenging, which include (but are not limited to) starting homeschool and moving.

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I recently went to a women's conference at our church.  It has taken me a few days to process some of what I heard.  I hope what I write makes sense because it was so good.  And so needed.

Have you ever had those times when you have been praying and praying for God to send you some encouragement and you feel like you have been waiting and waiting for Him to send this divine moment where you feel like the encouragement has arrived and you can practically see the the spotlight on you and hear the angels singing?  And, have you ever had one (or two or five) of those moments in your life that really jerk you back to more of a place of being humbled?  And you walk through those moments going, "God, I asked you for more encouragement.  I did not ask to be humbled any further!  Maybe you didn't hear my prayer right?" But God, in His sovereignty, knows what is best.  Sometimes He delivers what we need in ways we couldn't expect.  For me, the moments of encouragement have come after I was humbled.
I have been working for years to be a woman who builds up other women.  I want to be an encourager.  It bothers me when I have been harsh or critical to another.  I want other women to walk away from me feeling like they have just had fresh air or a warm hug.  I want them to see Jesus when they have been around me.  Sometimes I succeed.  Sometimes I fail.  There is grace even in the times I fail...from the lessons I have learned and/or in how I have been forgiven.
I will admit that I have been blind to the needs around me.  Even in my own circle of friends.  I have felt so brain-full that I have not been paying attention to what my people need.  Since the end of January, I have been in full house mode.  At first, it was getting our old house ready to sell...the cleaning out, organizing, painting, packing, etc.  And we had to finish school.  Once the house went on the market, it was keeping the house cleaned and ready for people to come in at a moment's notice.  Then looking for a house to move to, and more packing.  In the last month, we have been moving and trying to get school started.  In the middle of all this, we continued to do our ministry work.  I have felt overwhelmed and lonely a lot.  I was focused only on what I needed or wanted.  I never asked what my friends needed or what was going on in their lives.  Through a little incident that happened with a dear friend, I got a reality check.  I realized that though my needs are sometimes legitimate needs, that does not give me an excuse to focus solely on what's going on in my little world.  John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."  If I love my people, then I need to lay down my own needs or wants in order to care for them. When I do this, then the Father is glorified.  And isn't that the whole goal for life as Christians, for God to be glorified in us?

So let's get back to what I learned at the conference this weekend.  The Bible says, in 1 John 4:7&8, that God is love, and apart from Him we cannot love.  Verse 11 says that if God loved us, we ought to love one another.  Love means striving for unity.  The take away for me was, we fight for unity so that those around us see Jesus.  If God is love, and He gives us love to share, what are we saying to the world if we don't love the other women around us?  How does it set us apart as Christ-followers if we can't love and take care of the other women in our lives? How do we show the love and mercy of Christ to the world at large if we are petty and callous to the women around us?

Trillia Newbell was our speaker this weekend, and she gave us some thoughts about caring for each other:

1. Pray for those around me...especially when we are at odds.  Look, we are human.  There are always going to be times of misunderstanding, or hurt feelings, or whatever.  We will be at odds with our people at some point.  Instead of dwelling on the hurt, or giving them the cold-shoulder, begin by praying for the other person.  Pray that God will grant them favor.  Pray for grace and peace over their life.  It will be life changing for both of you when you pray for them.  Praying for the person you are at odds with shifts your attitude toward them and opens the door for God to work in your heart, making you more like Christ. 
2. Be specific when I encourage.  We all want to hear encouraging words about specific areas of our life.  When we use specific examples, it makes the encouragement more real.
3. Encouragement is NOT flattery, it's building up.  I think most of us like to hear that we are pretty or that our hair is nice.  But that isn't what true encouragement is about. It's about building each other up on the things that matter more.  When we encourage each other in the way we treat other people, the way we show the love of Christ, when we show each other grace, etc., we are building one another up, not just showing them superficial flattery.
4. Think of ways to lay down my life for other women.  I'll admit this is a tough one for me.  I want encouragement for others to be convenient.  I have a full enough plate most of the time.  I don't necessarily want to have to go out of my way to make sure that everyone else is taken care of.  But if we go back to 1 John 15:13, then I must lay down my life to show love.  Christ's love.  The same Christ who laid down His very life to make sure I would know Love Himself.  Whoa.

I have a long way to go in becoming more like Christ.  But it was encouraging to me to know that I am not alone in that process.  I am not alone in the struggles.  I am not alone in the successes.  There are so many other women out there who, just like me, are wanting desperately to connect with and encourage each other.  This weekend at the conference there were women, from a variety of backgrounds, coming together and united under the banner of Christ.   It was beautiful!  And it was such an encouragement to me to see it and experience it.
The Father knew what I needed.  He knew I needed time outside of my house and what is going on there.  But He also knew that the encouragement that I needed did not necessarily come in the manner I wanted.  My Father knows what is best.
I loved worshiping Jesus with more than 500 other women.  I loved that we all came together under the banner of Christ...to delight in being sisters, adopted by God the Father through Jesus...to delight in being women, with unique personalities and talents and gifts.  To delight in Him.